Currently under review (life)

I have been working since I was 19. For the last 12 years this has been in the marketing and technology field. I grew up with my mum and two elder sisters. My mum did an incredible job getting us all through it. I can say this with certainty now that I have three children of my own from two relationships. 21 years ago I duly created a persona for myself of the dutiful son. This has partially transferred to husband, a façade that frequently slips (rarely with positive consequences).

 I have always known that doing a job because I am afraid of not having one is surviving, not living, however since the birth of my son in early 2013 this has moved to the front of my agenda. What do my choices show him as he is growing into a man? I am striving to progress in a pursuit where I cannot answer the question ‘why do you do it’ beyond fiscal reward. Those closest to me suffer as a result of the anger and frustration I feel about this. A wise man recently suggested that my challenge was not finding what I wanted to do but working out what was stopping me from doing it. I am clear about the reasons why I have ended up here, the work is going to be about how to change it in a constructive way.

 My choice of photos for this page is reflective of my challenge. My son stares calmly and openly down the lens in colour, whereas I gaze at my feet with half a smile on my face. My son deserves to live his life without fear of himself. If that is to happen then I need to go first. Wish me luck! 

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